How often have you heard, “It is out of your control”? How many times, then, have we just accepted that as fact? Inevitably, things happen outside our control; lightning strikes your house, a tornado wreaks havoc and destroys a town, your big sister gets diagnosed with cancer and dies, etc.
The words above by Tolle uproariously ring through my head when I feel that life is out of control. How can I capture the moment and make believe I chose this? Who would choose this if they could? I can’t imagine a time in life I said, “Please, find every crap pile, throw it on top of me, give me the smallest straw you can find so I can catch my breath every ten minutes, so I don’t suffocate, and oh, by the way, let the epigram that is known as Murphy’s Law reign over me!”
I continue to grow in my walk with Christ as well as my walk in life. No one who knows me would say my path has ever been straight. On the contrary, I feel most who know me well, if at all, would say I have a propensity for finding the most arduous passage through this thing called life.
I have definitely grappled with how to manage to exist through some of the trials I have faced. I have often cried out to God, asking if He chose the right person or if He just had an ill-disposed sense of humor. Often times I find there has been no audible answer to the inquiries I made. I also have heard that sometimes God speaks the loudest in the quiet. I would like to think I am getting better at hearing from God (oftentimes my own voice in my head convicting me of what it is that I have done or am about to do), knowing ever more evidently it is me being still and waiting on Him.
These blogs will most certainly not be in chronological order (or even with mental clarity sometimes) and will probably seem random in nature to the reader. I have come to acknowledge and accept what I used to see as random was God’s perfect timing shining through. Although I still question His timing, I know that God is never late or early. He is always on time. I hope that whatever this chaos may look like, someone will benefit from knowing they are not alone.
Remember, God’s plan is not always obvious!
Amanda Newton
Overcoming Darkness with Truth and Grace: Analyzing ‘Truth be told’
One of my favorite songs is, “Truth be told” by Matthew West. The lyrics pierce my emotions and occupy my thoughts. As these thoughts linger, I marinate on why they stay around longer than more positive and uplifting thoughts? The first measures of the song are: “Lie number one, you’re supposed to have it all…
Listen to only those in your Tribe
We shift our attention from the positive to the negative and question how we accomplish anything at all. We fear that we are making every mistake possible, that other factors are driving us astray, and that “one more thing” will tip us over the edge. We make a conscious effort to appear composed so that…
INSPIRE through positive actions
Choosing a word of the year usually chooses you. If it is divinely given and confirmed in prayer.
Be still in anticipation
Have you ever sensed God telling you to “be still” and develop faith in Him? Do you ever pretend He isn’t speaking to you by pretending it’s all in your head? What about other times when you disagree with Him because you believe you are more correct and have more knowledge? Do you plan things ahead of His…
I am a work in progress
Why do we think that the misdeeds of others are greater than our own? “Look at how she treats her children and observe how he betrays his wife.” Do we cast disparagement to make us feel better about ourselves? “Listen to the way she talks.” Do we engage in it to improve how others perceive us? Does how…
Pedicures and Painful Memories
I’m having surgery next week. It just so happens to be the day following the anniversary of the death of my sister. Since I won’t be able to use my right hand for a few months, I went today to get a pedicure. You inquire as to the connection? Leukemia was discovered in my sister…
When life kicks the stuffing out of you
Ever have one of those days where you feel as though Murphy has taken up residence with you and is planning a one-mad catastrophe? Does it seem as though this unilateral wrecking ball has been given permission to assert control over every situation because we are so preoccupied with the impending initial disaster and the…
Lonely v. Alone
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever doTwo can be as bad as oneIt’s the loneliest number since the number one No is the saddest experience you’ll ever knowYes is the saddest experience you’ll ever know’Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever knowOne is the loneliest number even worse than two, yeah…
Please take it away
Have you ever experienced a nightmare of such magnitude that you were startled awake by the inability to obtain air into your lungs? Your anatomy seems to be reorganizing itself, making your chest an honorary part of your back due to the enormous amount of pressure weighing on you. Over the past 25 years, I…
Confirmation Bias
I adore wandering though the bright trees of fall while they speak to a year of development, transformation, and regrettably, a transition to death. When the skies are about to release the dawning snow, I enjoy inhaling deeply. As the crispness that is surrounding me is about to be replaces, I can feel the coming…
Unconditional Love or Living Intentionally?
Do you remember your chase? The one involved in pursuing your love, whether unrequited or pursued with equal fervor? Almost exhaustively? There was nothing you wouldn’t have done to gain their attention. Personally, I pursued an unrequited love for a while. I didn’t think of myself as someone worth pursuing but I didn’t think I…
Acceptance
How often have you heard, “It is out of your control”? How many times, then, have we accepted that as fact? Inevitably, things happen outside our control; lightning strikes your house, a tornado levels a town, or your big sister dies from cancer… The words above by Tolle ring obtrusively in my ears when I…
Why do we strive for perfection?
I could probably come up with a million examples of how my striving for perfection has wreaked havoc in my life. Self-denial is a prominent character I possess which is counterproductive to understanding no pinnacle of perfection will be reached. Perfection is sought in such an unhealthy way in my life, which lends itself to…
Get out of the boat
“I think I would like to do that when I grow older.” “The only reason that person can do it is because she is pretty. You might want to find something else to do with your life.” A universal constant in my life has been taht I have allowed other’s opinions of me to affect…
Exercise in Futility
No matter how much you try, some things are beyond your control The absurdity with which we carry out menial tasks on the daily is astounding. Why do we subject ourselves to mediocrity and then blame society for where we are in our lot in life? What keeps us from making the choice to be…
Patience
I constantly tell the children, “You need to be patient.” “Mommy, I’m hungry.” “Please be patient.” “Mommy, can I have?” “Please be patient.” “Mommy…” Why do we expect others to do what we find so difficult for ourselves to do? My most arduous struggle in life has been patience. Ok, maybe one of the hardest.…
When God's plan isn't obvious 